The Journey to Foster Care & Adoption, Part I

James 1:27 “…look after the orphans and widows in their distress…”

Foster parenting has never been an option in my book, but that all changed about eight weeks ago when I met a 5th grader at the school book fair.

For some out-of-character reason I signed up to work at the book fair at Alex’s school. I tend to avoid anything school-related where more than 25 kids participate. What I didn’t know was God had a plan for my family that He was about to set into motion.

As I was working at the fair I met a beautiful 5th grader. She kept hanging around the pencils and erasers like she really wanted one but didn’t have any money. A red flag went up when she asked, “Does anybody ever steal this stuff?” We talk and bit and I told her that they are only 25-cents and the book fair was going to be open for another week so she had time to go home and talk with her mom about getting something. Her reply knocked me off my feet, “I live with my Grandma. She don’t got any money.” Then she started to tell me her story as she was looking through the book fair trinket table - Mom is gone, Grandma is very, very, sick, and she lives with her 4 siblings who range from 5th grade down to Kindergarten.

I ended my book fair shift and headed home for lunch. What just took place starts to bother me, I mean really bother me. Stephen is home for lunch and I tell him the story and he asks why I didn’t just buy her a pencil. That would have been smart, but there were 24 other kids around and I didn’t want to buy everyone a pencil.

Later that night through a series of “God” events I learn more about these kids – multiple fathers, mom is in jail on drug charges, Grandma can’t take care of the kids anymore and they are headed to foster care the next day. My heart slams to the ground. These kids are going to school tomorrow like they would on a normal Tuesday but they have no idea what is going to happen by the end of school.

I go home and tell Stephen what I had learned. We are both heartbroken for these kids. Their poor little world is about to change in a drastic way in a mere 24 hours. Stephen tells me to go to the school first thing in the morning and buy the kids whatever they want from the book fair. They are going to have a crappy day so if it takes $500 worth of books to bring some joy into their heart, so be it.

The next day I headed to the book fair to make a few kids happy, even if it’s just for a few hours. I start to explain to the librarian what I want to do and before I could get five words out I start crying. For those of you who know me well, I’m not a crier and I’m certainly not a public crier. At this point, I have everyone in the whole library crying with me.

Side Note: Can I just say that our school has the best librarian in the whole world? She had the idea to pull the kids out of their classes one by one to tell them they have won free books at the book fair. It wasn’t until later in the day the siblings all started talking and discovered they had all won books at the book fair. I was told that one of them said, “I can’t believe I won! I’ve always wanted to win something!” Thank you Ms. C for your creative brilliance!

Stephen comes home for lunch again and I tell him about my morning. I’m pretty numb at this point knowing that the kids are just hours away from a life-changing event. Our conversation was a quiet one, but it had significant impact. It sounded something like this with lots of long thoughtful pauses.

Me: I just can’t fathom how those kids are going to feel at the end of the day. Their entire world is going to change, more than likely they will be split up into multiple homes. Who would take on five extra children?

Stephen: Just pick them up and bring them all home, we’ll make it work.
(At this point I’m wondering who this person is. My husband does not say things like this. God, what is going on?!?)

Me: We can’t. I’ve already researched it. There is a mountain of paperwork, home studies, and all sorts of things you have to do in order to become a foster home. It can take up to a year.

Stephen: You know, I never understood why my aunt [who has fostered many children over the years] does what she does. I think I get it now.

Me: I always said I could never be a foster parent because it would kill me to have to send a child back into a bad situation. I wouldn’t be able to handle it, but you know…the more I think about it, that’s very selfish. I care more about me and my personal heartbreak than about offering care to a child [orphan] in need.

Innocently volunteering to work a book sale started our journey towards becoming foster/adoptive parents.

And what about those five children you ask? They are in good homes and still attending the same school. They were split into two groups, but I’m confident those caring for them will make sure they see and spend time with each other.

If you are in Arkansas and are considering foster care, I would encourage to visit www.thecallinarkansas.org to learn more.