Monday, November 29, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
The Journey to Foster Care & Adoption, Part II
The signs are everywhere. You know the signs that fall from heaven on a blinking marquee sign? Well, those were hitting us left and right. From friends and co-workers deciding to adopt to learning about a Mom looking for a home for her soon-to-come baby. They were everywhere and then one Sunday the ultimate sign came down and hit us between the eyes. It was an announcement in the bulletin that said “Interested in Fostering or Adopting? The Call is a Christian-based, non-profit that works as a third-party with DHS to unit children with a temporary or forever home….”
BAM! Got it, sign received and understood. I told Stephen later on that night if we didn’t act on what we had been thrown our way I was afraid the next sign was going to be lightening striking. And you know, lightening never strikes once.
Let me back up a little and give you some more background. After more than three years of trying to get pregnant on our own, we had turned to fertility treatments. Three doctors, multiple tests, and what seemed like pints of blood drawn, we started the first fertility treatment in September. I have to say those treatments rank right up there on the “Top 10 Things I Never Want to Experience Again” list. I’d rather have a root canal, thank you very much.
Side Note: I wonder if all of us girls where in a giant room and asked if we had problems getting pregnant, how many of us would raise our hand. [If you were one of those he-looked-at-me-and-I-got-pregnant ladies, stop right now and thank God for that blessing.] The more I talk with ladies, the more I find how common infertility is and how doctors dispense prescriptions for Clomid like Halloween candy.
I digress.
October rolls around and it’s time for another treatment. At this point, I’m started to wonder if this is really what we need to be doing. I convince myself that we are going to finish out these four treatments (they would end in December) and at the beginning of the year and then re-evaluate. We moved forward with the October treatment and soon after our marquee sign in the church bulletin arrives. We make plans to attend the informational meeting about The Call and wouldn’t you know it’s at the exact time we need to decide on starting the next treatment cycle.
Soon after I call the doctor and pull out of the treatments. A few weeks after the interest meeting at church, we make plans to attend the “official” informational meeting. That is the big meeting that you need to bring your writing hand and a comfy pen because you are about to spill your guts on paper and submit your paw prints for a federal background check. Stephen was on call that week and of course his phone had been ringing off the hook, but miraculously his phone didn’t ring one time while we were in the two-hour meeting.
As of today all of our background checks have been submitted and we completed the DHS consult yesterday afternoon. Once January gets here we will complete our 30-hours of required training. At that time we also have to complete all of our family profile and home evaluation paperwork. Oh, and complete a whole day of CPR/First Aid certifications.
Add us to your prayer list, this journey isn’t going to be easy in many ways, but I’m sure it will be rewarding.
BAM! Got it, sign received and understood. I told Stephen later on that night if we didn’t act on what we had been thrown our way I was afraid the next sign was going to be lightening striking. And you know, lightening never strikes once.
Let me back up a little and give you some more background. After more than three years of trying to get pregnant on our own, we had turned to fertility treatments. Three doctors, multiple tests, and what seemed like pints of blood drawn, we started the first fertility treatment in September. I have to say those treatments rank right up there on the “Top 10 Things I Never Want to Experience Again” list. I’d rather have a root canal, thank you very much.
Side Note: I wonder if all of us girls where in a giant room and asked if we had problems getting pregnant, how many of us would raise our hand. [If you were one of those he-looked-at-me-and-I-got-pregnant ladies, stop right now and thank God for that blessing.] The more I talk with ladies, the more I find how common infertility is and how doctors dispense prescriptions for Clomid like Halloween candy.
I digress.
October rolls around and it’s time for another treatment. At this point, I’m started to wonder if this is really what we need to be doing. I convince myself that we are going to finish out these four treatments (they would end in December) and at the beginning of the year and then re-evaluate. We moved forward with the October treatment and soon after our marquee sign in the church bulletin arrives. We make plans to attend the informational meeting about The Call and wouldn’t you know it’s at the exact time we need to decide on starting the next treatment cycle.
Soon after I call the doctor and pull out of the treatments. A few weeks after the interest meeting at church, we make plans to attend the “official” informational meeting. That is the big meeting that you need to bring your writing hand and a comfy pen because you are about to spill your guts on paper and submit your paw prints for a federal background check. Stephen was on call that week and of course his phone had been ringing off the hook, but miraculously his phone didn’t ring one time while we were in the two-hour meeting.
As of today all of our background checks have been submitted and we completed the DHS consult yesterday afternoon. Once January gets here we will complete our 30-hours of required training. At that time we also have to complete all of our family profile and home evaluation paperwork. Oh, and complete a whole day of CPR/First Aid certifications.
Add us to your prayer list, this journey isn’t going to be easy in many ways, but I’m sure it will be rewarding.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
The Journey to Foster Care & Adoption, Part I
James 1:27 “…look after the orphans and widows in their distress…”
Foster parenting has never been an option in my book, but that all changed about eight weeks ago when I met a 5th grader at the school book fair.
For some out-of-character reason I signed up to work at the book fair at Alex’s school. I tend to avoid anything school-related where more than 25 kids participate. What I didn’t know was God had a plan for my family that He was about to set into motion.
As I was working at the fair I met a beautiful 5th grader. She kept hanging around the pencils and erasers like she really wanted one but didn’t have any money. A red flag went up when she asked, “Does anybody ever steal this stuff?” We talk and bit and I told her that they are only 25-cents and the book fair was going to be open for another week so she had time to go home and talk with her mom about getting something. Her reply knocked me off my feet, “I live with my Grandma. She don’t got any money.” Then she started to tell me her story as she was looking through the book fair trinket table - Mom is gone, Grandma is very, very, sick, and she lives with her 4 siblings who range from 5th grade down to Kindergarten.
I ended my book fair shift and headed home for lunch. What just took place starts to bother me, I mean really bother me. Stephen is home for lunch and I tell him the story and he asks why I didn’t just buy her a pencil. That would have been smart, but there were 24 other kids around and I didn’t want to buy everyone a pencil.
Later that night through a series of “God” events I learn more about these kids – multiple fathers, mom is in jail on drug charges, Grandma can’t take care of the kids anymore and they are headed to foster care the next day. My heart slams to the ground. These kids are going to school tomorrow like they would on a normal Tuesday but they have no idea what is going to happen by the end of school.
I go home and tell Stephen what I had learned. We are both heartbroken for these kids. Their poor little world is about to change in a drastic way in a mere 24 hours. Stephen tells me to go to the school first thing in the morning and buy the kids whatever they want from the book fair. They are going to have a crappy day so if it takes $500 worth of books to bring some joy into their heart, so be it.
The next day I headed to the book fair to make a few kids happy, even if it’s just for a few hours. I start to explain to the librarian what I want to do and before I could get five words out I start crying. For those of you who know me well, I’m not a crier and I’m certainly not a public crier. At this point, I have everyone in the whole library crying with me.
Side Note: Can I just say that our school has the best librarian in the whole world? She had the idea to pull the kids out of their classes one by one to tell them they have won free books at the book fair. It wasn’t until later in the day the siblings all started talking and discovered they had all won books at the book fair. I was told that one of them said, “I can’t believe I won! I’ve always wanted to win something!” Thank you Ms. C for your creative brilliance!
Stephen comes home for lunch again and I tell him about my morning. I’m pretty numb at this point knowing that the kids are just hours away from a life-changing event. Our conversation was a quiet one, but it had significant impact. It sounded something like this with lots of long thoughtful pauses.
Me: I just can’t fathom how those kids are going to feel at the end of the day. Their entire world is going to change, more than likely they will be split up into multiple homes. Who would take on five extra children?
Stephen: Just pick them up and bring them all home, we’ll make it work.
(At this point I’m wondering who this person is. My husband does not say things like this. God, what is going on?!?)
Me: We can’t. I’ve already researched it. There is a mountain of paperwork, home studies, and all sorts of things you have to do in order to become a foster home. It can take up to a year.
Stephen: You know, I never understood why my aunt [who has fostered many children over the years] does what she does. I think I get it now.
Me: I always said I could never be a foster parent because it would kill me to have to send a child back into a bad situation. I wouldn’t be able to handle it, but you know…the more I think about it, that’s very selfish. I care more about me and my personal heartbreak than about offering care to a child [orphan] in need.
Innocently volunteering to work a book sale started our journey towards becoming foster/adoptive parents.
And what about those five children you ask? They are in good homes and still attending the same school. They were split into two groups, but I’m confident those caring for them will make sure they see and spend time with each other.
If you are in Arkansas and are considering foster care, I would encourage to visit www.thecallinarkansas.org to learn more.
Foster parenting has never been an option in my book, but that all changed about eight weeks ago when I met a 5th grader at the school book fair.
For some out-of-character reason I signed up to work at the book fair at Alex’s school. I tend to avoid anything school-related where more than 25 kids participate. What I didn’t know was God had a plan for my family that He was about to set into motion.
As I was working at the fair I met a beautiful 5th grader. She kept hanging around the pencils and erasers like she really wanted one but didn’t have any money. A red flag went up when she asked, “Does anybody ever steal this stuff?” We talk and bit and I told her that they are only 25-cents and the book fair was going to be open for another week so she had time to go home and talk with her mom about getting something. Her reply knocked me off my feet, “I live with my Grandma. She don’t got any money.” Then she started to tell me her story as she was looking through the book fair trinket table - Mom is gone, Grandma is very, very, sick, and she lives with her 4 siblings who range from 5th grade down to Kindergarten.
I ended my book fair shift and headed home for lunch. What just took place starts to bother me, I mean really bother me. Stephen is home for lunch and I tell him the story and he asks why I didn’t just buy her a pencil. That would have been smart, but there were 24 other kids around and I didn’t want to buy everyone a pencil.
Later that night through a series of “God” events I learn more about these kids – multiple fathers, mom is in jail on drug charges, Grandma can’t take care of the kids anymore and they are headed to foster care the next day. My heart slams to the ground. These kids are going to school tomorrow like they would on a normal Tuesday but they have no idea what is going to happen by the end of school.
I go home and tell Stephen what I had learned. We are both heartbroken for these kids. Their poor little world is about to change in a drastic way in a mere 24 hours. Stephen tells me to go to the school first thing in the morning and buy the kids whatever they want from the book fair. They are going to have a crappy day so if it takes $500 worth of books to bring some joy into their heart, so be it.
The next day I headed to the book fair to make a few kids happy, even if it’s just for a few hours. I start to explain to the librarian what I want to do and before I could get five words out I start crying. For those of you who know me well, I’m not a crier and I’m certainly not a public crier. At this point, I have everyone in the whole library crying with me.
Side Note: Can I just say that our school has the best librarian in the whole world? She had the idea to pull the kids out of their classes one by one to tell them they have won free books at the book fair. It wasn’t until later in the day the siblings all started talking and discovered they had all won books at the book fair. I was told that one of them said, “I can’t believe I won! I’ve always wanted to win something!” Thank you Ms. C for your creative brilliance!
Stephen comes home for lunch again and I tell him about my morning. I’m pretty numb at this point knowing that the kids are just hours away from a life-changing event. Our conversation was a quiet one, but it had significant impact. It sounded something like this with lots of long thoughtful pauses.
Me: I just can’t fathom how those kids are going to feel at the end of the day. Their entire world is going to change, more than likely they will be split up into multiple homes. Who would take on five extra children?
Stephen: Just pick them up and bring them all home, we’ll make it work.
(At this point I’m wondering who this person is. My husband does not say things like this. God, what is going on?!?)
Me: We can’t. I’ve already researched it. There is a mountain of paperwork, home studies, and all sorts of things you have to do in order to become a foster home. It can take up to a year.
Stephen: You know, I never understood why my aunt [who has fostered many children over the years] does what she does. I think I get it now.
Me: I always said I could never be a foster parent because it would kill me to have to send a child back into a bad situation. I wouldn’t be able to handle it, but you know…the more I think about it, that’s very selfish. I care more about me and my personal heartbreak than about offering care to a child [orphan] in need.
Innocently volunteering to work a book sale started our journey towards becoming foster/adoptive parents.
And what about those five children you ask? They are in good homes and still attending the same school. They were split into two groups, but I’m confident those caring for them will make sure they see and spend time with each other.
If you are in Arkansas and are considering foster care, I would encourage to visit www.thecallinarkansas.org to learn more.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Fall is in the Air
Every fall I remember my mom bringing out a small pot and throwing in some whole cloves and a few cinnamon sticks. She would let it simmer on the stove and it would fill the air with the smell of Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's been getting colder so I thought it was time to bring out spices and let them simmer. This morning as I was eating a grapefruit I thought that the peel would be a nice addition to my spices, so I trimmed off some of the skin and threw it in. It smells amazing! Grab some spices and let them simmer on your stove for a bit. Just don't leave it on overnight, that would be bad!
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